Came across the following on relationships. Reflecting back on my experiences with people, I see the truth in the following researched conclusions by a bunch of psychologists. (source: http://thesnapper.com/2009/09/30/happiness-misery-and-relationships/)
Recipe for relationships:
(1) Love maps - getting to know your partner very well.
(a) Invest in understanding - One has to be attune, or emotionally dialed in, listening and remembering every aspect of their partner.
(b) nurture fondness and admiration. Both partners should be fond of the other’s traits, abilities, and accomplishments, admiring them as good things.
(c) triangulation. When the going gets tough, turn toward each other instead of away from each other.
(d) let your partner influence you. Do what your partner tells you to do.
(e) solving the solvable conflicts. Out of all the conflicts a relationship endures, one-third (33 percent) is solvable while two-thirds (67 percent) are unresolvable, also known as perpetual. It is commonly seen in strong well-functioning relationships.
(2) the “Four Horsemen of the Marital Apocalypse,” or what makes relationships miserable, ultimately ending them.
(a)criticism, attacking the spouse personally about their work and the like.
(b) contempt, becoming aloof from the spouse and demanding superiority.
(c) defensiveness, which prevents the spouse from having a word in matters or allowing them a voice of opinion.
(d) stonewalling, as the name states, building an invisible, and metaphorical stone wall between each other that keeps situations unsettled.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Confession to make
For long, I've been a self-proclaimed rice eater for whom chappati will not make the cut. Recent discovery of amazing phulka chappatis at Haveli changed the whole story. Small fluffy thin rotlis in combination with the famous Gujarati dish "Undhiyu" has got me really addicted. If there is one dish I will dare not try making is, Undhiyu. Really tasty dish and apparently very time consuming to make.. I am happy to satiate my cravings with Haveli's Undhiyu with their amazing rotis for months to come :).