Mark of a leader

I met several folks in leadership position in the last few weeks. One common trait among all of them is a cheerful sunny attitude.

Minimalistic

After some serious feedback and review of funds going out of my checking account in the last 6 months, I decided to do few changes. One, to reduce eating out and coffee shop trips.. I was really surprised this afternoon it was hard for me to consider going to the starbucks doing a mental calculation I could buy a can of milk for the price of a Short mocha. I also made and packed my lunch for the day. I got into a routine of tee-ing up all my bills and checking my mailbox daily. Glad I made few other changes - got rid of the tv, dvd player, tv stand and my netflix subscription - so no more movie marathons. Better use of time - bought kindle fire, uninstalled facebook app. Need to find more ways to reduce my cost of living and my life more productive. Something divined on me today - I need to spend on big ticket items like camera lens, a laptop etc every once in a while which will make me reduce myself from nickle-and-diming my wallet. And those parking tickets - I am going to be a good citizen just for my wallet's sake.

Celebrating success..

Few things:
(1) Got promoted at work - much waited appreciation and recognition, now I can walk away with a full heart :),
(2) Eating regular breakfast, lunch and dinner by 6pm. One or two glasses of milk a day - from zero :). Lost 8 lbs in the past 20 days - at 121 lbs with Jeans and Kurta :). Definitely, Loving myself for how I look - feel and looking great :).
(3) Wardrobe update, organizing home and bills - done.
(4) Cooking and eating at home :)

Farewell

The first couple I hung out with after coming to Seattle is leaving to London for a 2year stint. So, there was a farewell party where I ended up catching up with another collegue whose existence I was aware of for 7 years :). We spoke about books, travelling and other stuff which made me think seriously about my trip to Bali. Yes, I am seriously thinking of doing Bali trip in December with an ex-collegue of mine. Another vacation spot we are considering is also France. Not sure which one to go to - Bali for sure since I have a friend living in Bali.

Oh.. travelling to strange places.. my childhood passion - initial driver for me to land in the US. And, can you believe China was my first out-of-country trip?. I am going to promise myself atleast 1 week/yr trip to some remote place and all by myself even if I get a husband and/or kids. I want to meet people from other walks of life - so it will be trips where I am going to stay at random places than just some resorts - its the experience that counts.

Now that I am seriously considering Bali or France, I am going to take some photography lessons so I can make the best use of my camera. Let's see how that goes.

Life's little instruction book

I had picked this book from a "Friends of the library" sale. It has some 500+ very interesting one-liner instructions, written by a dad for his son while trying to sound not preachy. I totally loved it.

I never listen

It is probably the biggest fatal flaw I have.. that which is jinxing me in every aspect of my life. I am aware of it - many a time, I just wish people remind me and still tell me what I need to know or hear. When I keep my emotions aside, I do really wish I could listen for what someone has to say and see it from their point of view.

Guess what

Following thursday "out of control" talk meeting, I did get advice from my VP. I was like "I know what you are about to say" but had to listen. He said.. take time to listen, replay the question to confirm what is being asked and then answer. I thanked him - it is not me to do that in recent times but I did that the previous day, hence I was kicking myself for doing something as stupid as that. Well.. I am glad we had the talk :).

Craving

Today was one of those disastrous days at work. Had awkward back and forth email with 2 folks from outside the organization - I kinda felt belligerent. Felt I spoke too much in a meeting and felt slightly out of control. Wonder where this is coming from - is it because I dont have anyone to talk to after work that the craving to talk has skyrocketed.

Virgin Coconut Oil

Instead of buying ghee, I decided to buy coconut oil from the Indian store. Where I come from.. we use coconut oil instead of ghee with green gram dhal or horse gram dal. I had coconut oil with horse gram dal. I had sorta "diarrhea" symptom this evening which led me to google whether it was due to the coconut oil I had this noon.

Following is what I found.

virgin coconut oil eases constipation because it is fibrous and it cleanses the colon very effectively. It also increases your metabolism rate letting your system break down food faster and effectively which can lead to increased bowel movement and weight reduction.

Virgin coconut oil is also an anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-viral agent. The fatty acids found in virgin coconut oil can also boost your immune system and equips it with the tools it needs to fight off bacteria, diseases and other infections.

The distinctive characteristic that sets virgin coconut oil apart from other harmful oils is that it doesn’t turn to fat. It is incredibly safe and it can actually lower your cholesterol.

Interesting..isn't it?

If there is one thing..

I would teach my kid.. that would be to "Be Kind".

Aware of consequences ?

People are never aware of the consequence when they are mean to their loved ones. They assume their loved ones will be always around. It is like saying "leave me alone" when your heart really believes you will not be left alone. Until some day.. When Rhett Butler tells Scarlett.. "Frankly my dear.. I don't give a damn". Note: This has got nothing to do with me :).. something that came as a wisdom during a hearty conversation with a friend.

Law of Averages

‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ Jim Rohn

I do agree on this to some extent but this is not about being surrounded by the smartest/most successful. It does help you to be more in touch with folks who have been there, done that, spiritually better, nicer, good at heart etc. If you like to do few things and wish to do certain things, hanging out with people who think similar gets you where you want sooner and easily. It is more of having enough role models around you to learn from.

http://lifehacker.com/5926309/how-the-people-around-you-affect-personal-success

It is not about getting away from your family or loved ones. It is about getting the exposure or get your loved ones exposed to a better way of life.

Bloody Morning

Woke up this morning feeling terrible .. very ususual since I go to bed feeling not-so-good but usually wake up on a high note. This time.. it was different. Felt I squandered my day yesterday not doing anything particularly useful. Did attend a conference - Afrikaans in Microsoft. Learnt about the continent - which was good .. however zero efforts on working out. Walk in Marymoor does not count since it did not result in any sweat. So, decided to bunk today's team picnic - though not a great decision since that is missing on a networking opportunity, wanted to focus and get few things done so I don't have yet another morning like today's. Not sure the morning effect was due to the book I was reading on "Adaptability: art of winning in an age of uncertainity".. it just made me too conscious of uncertainity. While now I am fully awake, uncertainity is what one needs to embrace and relish about life. As in the words of Steve Jobs, "you will connect the dots when you look behind but not possible while looking forward". So, current plan is to do something size-able enough every day towards every life goal I have - Rome is not built in one day - it was built brick by brick.

Life

“Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.”

I see a play of this in everyone's life around me. How so true ?

Yoga

Just putting it here so I don't renege.. picking up yoga again after 2.5 years. Just remembered the times I was practicing yoga.. it felt good. There's this Breathe Hot Yoga in the bldg adjacent to work - first 10 classes for $25. Have to be completed in 2 weeks. So.. going to do it for next 2 weeks without fail - hopefully it becomes a habit by then so I can continue.

God is in little things :)

What I mean by God here is.. greatness. Small things add up. WhispernetSync makes the kindle experience seamless - it is subtle but makes a big difference :). Focus on small things - big things will follow.

Stock Watch

To buy or not to buy..looking at the 2 most promising ones: Visa and Priceline. The last time I saw Priceline.. it was at 750 and now it is at 600.. wonder what is going on ?. Visa - I think it is undervalued ; it hold monopoly just by the nature of payment volume its continuing to grow and hold.

S- Curve

Throwing life a curve is critical to keep your life exciting and going.

Practice Gratitude

In uncertain times and periods of despair, it is natural for someone to look at the negatives, lose sight of positives and feel demoralized. Practicing gratitude definitely keeps the hope live and keeps the belief on a better tomorrow go strong. I see this as the primary theme in the democratic convention and it feels so right.

So, why not start practicing the same ?

I am going to enumerate 10 new things I should feel grateful about every day going forward.

For today :),

(1) Living in an information age where I have access to thoughts of great minds and thinkers applicable to every situation possible. If not for it, one's world would be extremely limited by what is perceived through immediate surroundings.
Read in Steve Job's biography that he realized he would serve the world better through technology than becoming a saint at the end of the year spent in India searching for enlightenment. There is a lot I learnt just from this one man.. whatever you do, do it spectacularly. Do what you love and love what you do. It is easy to connect the dots when you look back but not forward - have solid guiding principles as your lighthouse.

(2) Friends - smart, upbeat and caring. I should really thank God :) for the kind of friends I came upon in this life. Everyone had something to teach me (not through talks) but by leading through example or as role model. Friends who put a floor to how far I can go spiraling down.. friends who follow few but inviolable principles.. friends who remind me that I am never alone but are there on my side.

(3) Living in a country where the leaders are role models and stressing on morals/principles. Just loved the democratic convention speeches of Michelle Obama and Bill Clinton.. great speakers, great role models. It is definitely inspirational.

(4) Living in an age and an environment where women have more choices than ever.

(5) Parents who gave their best and let me make the choices. It is not that I have been great with my choices but I still had the freedom to make the choices I am comfortable with and aspired to. Cannot ask for more :)

(6) Financial self sufficiency. Been debt free except for missing few parking tickets here and there.. Otherwise, Ms. Fortune has been generous with me. It does feel good to have the ability to buy anything I wish for(mine are never too fancy) but not have to really exercise it - the feeling of abundance.

(7) My best lessons were from tough masters. The stress on excellence from my ex-manager, the stress on doing the basics right from another. The biggest lesson - "Stop repeating mistakes"; small things add up to one's character/personality/reputation. I have been working really hard on my reputation as being reliable over the last year at work and can see how much focus that requires... so more the need for just "few" inviolable principles and not "many".

(8) One of the best lessons for the month - smile even if you don't feel like and you will be surprised that you indeed feel happy when you do that. Try it. Heard this from a collegue who's always smiling. I did try it and it is true :). He said smiling over the phone can also send great vibes over the phone :)

(9) Love people, see how you can help to make others' life better, nothing big just in small ways - it makes everything easy and better.

(10) Dont believe in the worst you hear about yourself - it can make you think its better to end life here at this juncture as if you are incorrigible. Focus more on outside - on actions to be taken, network more, help others... it removes the edge from laser focusing on oneself(which is not always healthy - one needs a balance and sufficient distractions in life). Nothing is incorrigible, nothing is end of everything.. there is more to life - life is large, more uncharted waters to explore. Look at Life as a game - fun learning experience (nothing to lose, nothing to gain at the end but a great experience/journey to smile upon on your deathbed).

Web prowl

Suddenly I became uncomfortable with the idea my parents are not going to be around in a week from now. Didn't feel like looking forward to the lonely time. Having them around made my life purposeful - I wanted them to be happier and feel better.. and I was trying to set an example or show examples.. definitely felt lot happier. Now, with them gone, I need to find that purpose or I am going to be lost.

I always knew I like doing stuff for others, having people around and meeting people gives a sense of normalcy or happiness to me. I feel more useful and that makes me feel better.

Ended up waking in the middle of the night and spent time browsing on the web. Found this very interesting/useful blog entry. http://www.justinkownacki.com/2010/04/12/my-own-11-little-secrets/

The ones that really hit the spot were..

Create Something You’re Responsible for Sustaining. Maybe it’s a business. Maybe it’s a work of art. Maybe it’s a child.

When you’re emotionally invested in something, you’re living a life that no one else has lived. That’s your story.

When something (or someone) relies on you for its very existence, that gives you a clearer perspective. Your choices now have consequences. You can be a hero every day. Embrace that, because it’s a responsibility not everyone has the opportunity (or the stomach) to enjoy.

Pretend Your Kids Are Watching. Imagine the idealized version of you, the way your kids think of you when they’re too young to realize that you’re just another flawed human being.

Now make the same choices that the idealized version of you would make. Isn’t it wonderful be to able to look up to yourself?

I and my friend have been talking about working with folks in coimbatore to start a mobile library for kids. Once my parents leave, that is going to be my mission - really looking forward to it.

I love kids - I really look forward to exploring stuff and showing the world to my kids. Started feeling, why do I need to put a hold on the same ?. I can start a sponsor/mentor relationship with few kids and start doing stuff with them.

May be..

I am looking at all this the wrong way. May be.. relationships and marriages are not my cup of tea and not really in destiny.

So very true.. isn't it ?

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Change in perspective

One has to lead by example - if someone leaves you or your life, better to look into oneself to find the contributors. Some recent take-aways (some recent enforcing lessons) : (1) Always remind oneself - one could potentially play out a situation in a worser light than it really is. (2) Life is actually very forgiving - there are enough situations to redeem one's mistakes, just try to minimize those. (3) Never take anyone/anything for granted - there is no such thing, it just fizzes out the quality. (4) Keep doing the basics consistently and correctly irrespective of what happens. (5) Never worry - if something has to happen, it will happen otherwise it will not happen. Again, dont try to control life outcomes, just enjoy the ride.

I wish...

I wish.. I let go people at the right time and right moment. It is worse to not let them go and make them suffer. Is it really worth it ?. Life is too short to be made painful, ask questions making them feel miserable. There should be few low hanging fruits - not worth making everything hard to get. Definitely drains one's energy.

One piece of great advice

A collegue of mine said this was the advice his future mother-in-law gave him when he was talking to his would-be life. Keep conversations light. Do not go overboard on being too frank on your responsibilities and hardships in life. You will freak out the other person and make them run away. How so true ?.

Before Sunrise and Before Sunset ..

Had been meaning to watch this sequel since hearing one of my friends rave about it umpteen number of times :). Funny I had watched "Before sunset" before and it didnt make that much sense .. until I saw these two movies back to back. Made total sense :). Lemme put it .. both the movies are 2 long conversations between two people but strong with feelings(sense of ambiguity/masking of disappointment/attraction/.. what not). Well.. you need to watch this with somebody and discuss while watching.. otherwise you are for sure bound to sleep :).