Attended a Scrum master training program this week. One of the interesting lessons that we learnt was how the use of "Yes .. but" and "Yes .. and" affects the outcome of a conversation.
When the listener responds with "Yes.. but ..", he gives negative vibes to the speaker and makes him weary. The conversation doesnt progress in a constructive manner. His "but" negated whatever he seemingly agreed with the "yes". The speaker feels a resistance and doesnt take well to the suggestion/opinion following the "but". He looks at it as a counter argument to his statement.
When the listener responds with "Yes .. and", the speaker feels patronized and listens to the listener's suggestions. They go on to incorporate both their suggestions ending in a satisfactory fruitful conversation :). The suggestion/opinion following "and" is considered complementary to the "Yes"-d suggestion/opinion :).
I do agree this is common sense but how often people realize the importance of wording their response in an agreeable manner. What is that you want to achieve .. "prove that you are smart" ???. Many a times, the way to make the other person accept you as "smart" is by first acknowledging that you are talking to a smart person :) and definitely not by proving the other person is "dumb".
2 comments:
YES, AND you are right, BUT .......
(Hey very nice writeup!)
Yes..and is very helpful when you want to build or create or do something together. Out of nowhere, within 3 or 4 dialogues, you see something tangible.
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