To say the least, I am confused. I had gone out for brunch on saturday with two guys. One of them is married. He was telling us the thumb rule to find a partner is to : follow the rule of consideration and not the rule of elimination. Check out whether the person's core values match yours and annoying behavior or mannerisms are within tolerable limits. Unless or otherwise, the person is way off your charts, practice the rule of consideration until you are sure of the person. When you are sure, you can take the next step.
Another friend pointed out that the following are more important.
#1 : A common life purpose - the biggest binding force.
#2 : Communication and trust - Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
#3 : Is he/she a refined and sensitive person?
Is he or she trying to improve oneself.. spend efforts in personal growth ?
#4 : Treats people with respect. Avoid gossip mongers like plague. Does he or she care for her family members, friends and treat strangers with respect ?
#5 : Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
If you have a list, just forget it.
5 comments:
Never thought about these things. Not a bad set of things to look into your potential life partner.
-s sundaragopalan
(just not to confuse you with "sriks")
Another that a friend told me: "one thing, something, just anything that makes him/her attractive (in any sense, not just physically) to you".
Nice blog btw, I'm just seeing it now!
Regarding the 'rule of consideration' that I too have heard from a few :-
It happens so that I've been looking for a car and for a life partner simultaneously. And it makes me think: When I, or anyone for that matter, are so scrutinizing when it comes to looking at cars we consider buying, why is it over-doing when it comes to looking for a life partner (who infact, unlike a car, cannot be later serviced or exchanged or sold)?
I hope to blog about this soon :-).
You can find a perfect car but so called perfect life partner is a myth. The lifepartner search is a two way process unlike car hunt :).
hmmm... you're right. I wish it were as easy as buying a car :).
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